Edward Smith lives with his "girlfriend" in Washington state, USA.
She has a nifty bonnet (or hood as you Americans say) and her boot (trunk) is rather shapely. For Edward's partner is a white Volkswagen Beetle called Vanilla.
Edward, 57, claims to have had sex with 1,000 cars, the first time when he was 15. He says he is not attracted to men or women - and last had a relationship with a woman 12 years ago.
It seems he is not always faithful to Vanilla, also spending his time with a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and a 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.
"I'm not sick," says Edward, "and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."
I can think of a lot of filthy jokes to go with this story... but let's keep it clean. When he was a teenager, I wonder if he borrowed his dad's car to go out on a date?
Anyway, it must be very exhausting.